You can't even imagine how scary it actually is
by cutsycat
Summary: Kiba drags Naruto to a bar... Warning: This was written for the fright challenge on lj community kakanaru.


Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto and make no profit off of this.

Special thanks to fairyniamh for betaing. Thanks to omnichan for letting me use her entry as inspiration.

**You can't even imagine how scary it actually is**

Naruto was sitting on a bar stool nursing his drink and staring off into space when it happened. It was something he never expected to see let alone be the target of. It's almost too scary to tell you.

After it happened Kakashi found Naruto curled up with his blanket on the floor. Naruto had fallen out of bed with all the shaking and squirming that he had been doing because of his nightmares generated from the incident. After the third time of ending up on the floor he decided that there wasn't any point in getting back into bed. He spent the rest of the night shaking, shivering, and thrashing around on the floor which is where Kakashi found him the next morning when he failed to show up for their agreed upon sparring session.

Seeing Naruto in the throws of a nightmare Kakashi couldn't help, but try to shake his old student awake. Unfortunately Kakashi being his perverted self first pulled Naruto on to his lap, so he could be closer to the boy before shaking him awake. After the horror of the nightmare Naruto reacted badly to being in someone's lap with their hands on his shoulder shaking him and feeling the hardness poking him in the butt. Actually maybe badly was a bit of an understatement.

Not being awake enough to recognize Kakashi, Naruto completely flipped out slamming the back of his head into the person behind him following that by elbowing the same person in the ribs as hard as he could. Kakashi released Naruto falling onto his back gasping for breath. Naruto reacted by immediately jumping up and turning around to face his captor when he felt himself released from the hands gripping his shoulders and shaking them.

Upon seeing Kakashi lying there with the breath knocked out of him he started apologizing profusely and saying how he thought Kakashi was someone else over and over again and how he wouldn't have done it if he knew it was Kakashi. Slowly sitting up as Naruto no longer appeared violent Kakashi stared at Naruto lost in thought. Feeling eyes on him Naruto flushed embarrassedly and very flustered. After all this was Kakashi. True he was no longer Naruto's teacher, but they were still teammates and they had a good relationship albeit one without any hint of physical intimacy.

Here he had clearly felt Kakashi and while normally he wouldn't have beat him up that much he was still surprised as there had been no hint from Kakashi that he was interested in anything more than friendship.

"Ne. Naruto?" Kakashi's voice startled Naruto from his thoughts fortunately preventing him from dwelling on what it meant. Unfortunately it brought the nightmare back to the forefront of his mind and a visible shiver traveled up his spine at the memory of the nightmare and the incident that triggered it in the first place.

Once again lost in his thoughts Naruto jumped about a foot in the air when Kakashi repeated his name louder. "Nani?" Naruto exclaime as he came back down.

"Why don't you tell me about your nightmare? It might help."

"I don't think you know what you're asking. I don't think anything can help this. In fact hearing about it will probably cause you to have nightmares as well."

"Now. Naruto I've seen and done a lot of horrible things. I can't imagine it's that bad compared to some of the things I've seen."

"Oh, yes it is. In fact it's probably worse."

"Ok. Now I'm really curious. You almost have to tell me now."

"Ok, but don't say I didn't warn you."

"I understand just tell the story."

"Well it all started last night. Kiba dragged me to the bar saying something about needing to loosen up. Shortly after we got there Kiba disappeared into one of the back rooms leaving me to fend for myself." Here Naruto had to get up and fetch himself a glass of water in order to be able to continue the story. Trying to be the polite host that Iruka-sensei taught him to be he offered Kakashi something to drink since he was up anyway. Kakashi politley declined just wanting Naruto to continue the story.

Sitting back down and setting his glas on the end table Naruto continued on after an impatient gesture from Kakashi. "So there I was at the bar nursing my drink and staring off into pace not really wanting to socialize after Kiba left, but not feeling particularly ready to leave either. Thinking back on it now I wish I had left when I had the chance. Then I wouldn't have experienced the horror that was quickly about to befall me, though I didn't know it at the time."

"Damnit, Naruto, quit stalling and tell me what happened already."

Naruto took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a brief moment. "After another 10 minutes or so of sipping my drink my attention was attracted by a commotion near the middle of the bar. I'm sure you can imagine my surprise and horror at finding out that it was Karoake night and first up was none other than our all time favorite jounin specialist in his green spandex and orange leg warmers."

Naruto shivered again. "You can't imagine the way he was moving all muscle and no grace and those eyebrows I swear they had a life of their own. It was clear he had had more than one drink as he was singing "Wild one" by Faith Hill with randomly thrown in shouts about the power of youth. In addition he was moving his body sinuously obviously trying to be sensual or sexy and failing miserably. He looked more creepy than anything and was actually managing to sober up quite a few people."

"Oh god. You're right. I didn't want to know."

"And that's not even the worst of it. After the announcer finally got him off the stage, he wandered over to where I was and sat on the stool next to me. He appeared to be paying attention to the stage, so I did my best to ignore him and recapture the contemplative mood that I had been in before he went on stage. However, that failed miserably at the next words out of his mouth."

"Did you like it Naruto-kun?" Lee had asked. "I did it for you."

"For me?"

"Yes, for you and our burning passion of youth that will soon shine brightly."

"Ummm... What are you talking about?"

"Why you and me, of course. Come on, let's dance." Lee said as he grabbed Naruto's hand and dragged him out to the dance floor.

"Before I could even formulate a response he had me out in the middle of the floor and was grinding into my ass with each beat of the music. What's worse is that I could feel him getting harder with each grind. Finally he ground into me hard enough to wake me up from the stupor I had been in since he asked me the first question. I screamed like a girl, which now that I think about it probably wasn't a bright move as it brought everyone's attention to us."

Naruto had to pause again to take a calming breath before finishing the story. He was almost in tears just thinking about what happened next. "I couldn't handle it, Kakashi, when I saw everyone looking I turned and ran out of the bar. Unfortunately, Lee still had his hands attached to my hips and so he was pulled along with me as I ran. I finally stopped running and leaned against an alley wall that was hopefully far enough away from the bar that nobody would attempt to come after us."

Another pause this one shorter. "This, too, turned out to be a mistake as Lee immediately pushed me against the wall and started grinding into my groin and trying to shove his tongue down my throat. It was even worse than the accidental kiss with Sasuke years ago at the academy. He caught me completely by surprise as I never in a million years would have expected that, so it took a while before my brain actually registered what was happening."

Another breath. "At which point I fought back. Once I was aware again, I gave him a hard kick and a shove away from me before taking off and running away as fast as I could. When I couldn't sense him or anybody else I finally slowed down before trying to get my bearings and find my way back to my apartment where I could hopefully drown this whole experience in my sleep."

Another pause and deep breath. "However, as you might have guessed, that didn't work too well as all my dreams seemed to consist of that sequence happening again, only this time I liked it which was more than enough to have me tossing and turning all night and occasionally waking up in a cold sweat. Which of course leads to the way you found me and my overreaction."

After calming down a bit, Naruto said. "I am truly sorry for that by the way. "

"It's alright. Don't worry about it. I would probably react similarly if it had happened to me." That morning Naruto slept peacefully in Kakashi's arms, unaware of the second horror that was about to befall his semi-young life.

The next morning when he woke up Kakashi was already awake. In fact he was standing in Naruto's doorway lip-locked with Gai. Seeing that was too much for Naruto's brain to handle. He took off running.

"Wait. Naruto, come back. It was just a joke. I'm not interested in Gai, I promise."

Upon hearing this, Gai burst into tears crying about how the passion of youth will now forever be denied both him and his student. Kakashi completely ignored him instead focusing on trying to catch up with his student before he made it out of the village. Fortunately or unfortunately depending on how you look at it, Naruto didn't want to become a missing-nin and as such was heading directly for the Hokage tower.

He arrived completely out of breath yelling, "Baa-chan, please give me a mission outside. I think I'll go insane if I have to stay in this village another second and whatever you do, pleaseeee" Naruto stressed the word please. "don't assign Kakashi to come with me or follow me."

"Naruto, calm down and tell me what that lazy pervert did now?"

"Well how much of what happened last night did you see or hear?"

"I heard about what happened at the bar and after hearing about it I tuned in on you with the Hokage looking glass and saw what happened in the alley. Did anything happen after that?"

"Not much. Kakashi came over this morning since I was late for our sparring session and I ended up telling him what happened and then falling into a dreamless sleep. Then " Here Naruto's voice cracked and tears started to shine in his eyes, "then I woke up and saw Kakashi lip-locked with Gai."

Now at this point in time, Kakashi appeared inside the Hokage's office having finally caught up with Naruto. After having just heard the story Tsunade got up and slammed her fist into Kakashi sending him flying much like she usually does to Jiraiya loudly calling after him, "What the hell did you think you were doing?"

Getting up and transporting back into the Hokage's office, Kakashi said. "Calm down, Godaime."

"Don't tell me to calm down. Tell me why."

"I'll explain after you calm down." Seeing her trying to control her breathing Kakashi continues, "Well after hearing about what happened to Lee, Gai searched me out and found me at Naruto's since I had been comforting him. He then did another one of his challenges. This time he challenged me to kiss him. I told him no knowing full well that if Naruto saw it, he would feel betrayed. However as I was trying to get him out the door, so that I could get back to my Naru-chan, he kissed me forcefully and at that exact moment Naruto woke up and saw us."

Naruto snorts. "Yeah, right. Then why were you yelling that it was a joke?"

"It was the quickest way to explain and possibly get you to stop running away from me. It's not like you would have listened to the long explanation that I just gave while you were trying your best to get away from me."

"Oh." Naruto said, pouting.

Kakashi couldn't resist. Naruto looked too cute with the pout on his lips and he leaned forward to place a light kiss on Naruto's lips. He pulled back and said, "Don't pout. I can't resist when you do that."

"Itai." Naruto screeched slugging Kakashi across the face and Tsunade followed up with a punch to the back of the head.

"Nani? What was that for?" Kakashi asked.

"You're a pervert. That's reason enough." Tsunade replied. "Now both of you get out of my office. I have actual work I can be doing rather than mediating your silly lover's spats."

"Nani?? We're not lovers, Baa-chan. Take that back."

"Hmm... I'm not sure Kakashi agrees, Naruto."

"Eh. Kakashi?" Naruto turned to glare at him. Seeing the angry look on Naruto's face Kakashi took off running as the village just shook their heads at the stupid jounin and his very angry teammate. Naruto finally caught Kakashi and needless to say, it took Kakashi a while to get back into Naruto's good graces even though whenever he saw Gai an uncontrollable twitch started as he remember the horror of that kiss and the feeling of Gai's tongue seeking entrance.

He shuddered even now just thinking about it and Gai was nowhere to be found as he was safe in the home that he and Naruto now shared.


End file.
